Memoirs of a Pokemon Master
by Shadowboltz
Summary: Ever wonder what Ash's memoirs would be about when he became a Pokemon Master? Take a deeper look at Ash's thoughts as he traveled the world, won matches, and won the heart of his love, Gary. Palletshipping Involved. Rated T for now cause of language but that could change!
1. Intro and Dedication

**Memoirs of a Pokemon Master**

They say that those who become famous often have deep dark secrets. Secrets that only come out during a scandal or blackmail or even when they eventually settle down and write memoirs. Since becoming a Pokémon Master and head of the Kanto League, it was inevitable that the public eye would want to know more about the man behind the title. More about Ash Ketchum the boy from Pallet.

I had never really thought of myself as a writer so when the Pokémon League PR person suggested a memoir, I thought they were higher than Deoxys on meth or something. But the PR woman, Gabby I believe her name is, had a valid point… I'd rather control how my secrets are reported and put it out there myself than have someone from the Goldenrod City Gobbler dig in my trash to find something to spin into complete bullshit.

But what secrets do I have? I don't really have any… I've always been an open book. Of course, there are things I don't really talk about unless asked directly but not really secrets. I suppose the most scandalous thing in my life is my less than traditional relationship with the love of my life, Gary Oak. The snarky, funny, muscular, super sexy, love of my life, Gary Oak (you're welcome for the compliment Gary). So… I suppose when I sat down to pen my memoirs, I had decided to write these things around my relationship with Gary, and how with his support as well as my Pokémon's hard work, I became Ash Ketchum, Pokémon Master and President of the Kanto Pokémon League.

But like I said, I had never really thought of myself a writer. I work with my hands and the most exercise my mind gets is when I'm studying Pokémon battling strategies and opponents. Plus, I don't really have a lot to write about… after all, I'm only 25 years old, so there's only 25 years' worth of memoir related stuff that I can write. So… I'm just going to write like I'm telling a story and see what comes up.

* * *

So before I get deep into the Ash Ketchum story, I want to dedicate this story to a few people:

 _Professor Samuel Oak-_ Thank you for serving as my guide, my mentor and teacher, and my friend. You gave me my first Pokémon buddy, despite the fact that I was hella late to that fateful day. If you hadn't believed in me, I wouldn't even be someone worth writing this kind of thing.

 _My Mom, Delia Ketchum-_ There are so many things I should thank you for and yet, not enough pages in a book for me to do so. You have never failed to be a single person cheering section for me and your love, concern, and support mean the world. Yes… I'm wearing clean underwear as I write this.

 _Misty, Brock, Max, May, Tracey, and my numerous friends and traveling companions-_ You all rock. Traveling can be quite lonesome but yet, I have never had to go through such loneliness. Your companionship, advice, laughter, tears and everything else mean the world for me. If I had to choose between being a Pokémon Master and our friendship, I'd choose our friendship hands down.

 _To my Wonderful Pokémon-_ There is no becoming a Pokémon Master without you all. I don't know if you all will be able to read this but I'll definitely read it to you. I love you all! I truly appreciate your friendship and dedication to me and the hard battles you've fought on my behalf make you all the Pokémon Masters in my eyes.

Last but certainly not least, _To the love of my life Gary Oak-_ Gary, to this day, I will never understand how we went from best friends, to bitter rivals, back to friends, then to our current relationship. Whether it was to prove I was better than you or to make you proud, you certainly did more than your fair share to keep me motivated. Even though you are LITERALLY breathing down my neck right now, and basically ruining the surprise of this dedication by reading over my shoulder, I couldn't imagine my life without you. Yes… I'm actually going to write all this, no I will not change what I'm writing… Gary, I love you but get out of my face, I'm trying to write here! I love you too. 

* * *

Ok… so with all of that said, let's get on to the main event! But where should I start… Oh! So let's start off with that faithful day, almost 15 years ago, when my Pokémon Journey began….

 _So I'm getting back into writing fanfiction, so I'm taking this slow. I hope you all enjoy it! There will be an update soon but please review! It's definitely a motivator!_


	2. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**Memoirs of a Pokemon Master**

 **Chapter 1- The Beginning**

15 years ago or so, I began my Pokemon Journey after months of intense prep work in Pre-Trainer training classes; I suppose before they let a 10 year old out into the world with a small creature capable of great power, they have to have some form of training. Now, during these training sessions, I was usually pretty good at the pokemon training moduals that Professor Oak always set forth for us. I was top of my class in terms of Pokemon typology, Pokemon training mechanics and other actual trainer elements. The nature and survival skills…well, lets say I was lucky to get by on that. The Professor and invited guest speakers often teach you things that you think you won't need but sometimes regret later that you didn't pay attention to. Things like: What to do if your pokeball is damaged, or if you lose your pokedex. Though in hindsight, I could've used that Pokeball lesson during that incident with Snorlax, but I digress.

You also may know that each region's budding Pokemon trainer training is overseen by the region's Professor though his aids conduct training in other areas around the region. Theoretically, being that I was being taught in person by the world's leading authority on Pokemon, I should've been a force to recon with. Like I said, I didn't always pay attention in those lessons so that may have had something to do with it.

I always had training with Gary and the other trainers from Pallet. Gary, having been my childhood friend for years before that point had been my only friend in those classes. I suppose that's when I should've realized that he was destined to become a permanent fixture in my life, but what 10 year old knows these things. I hardly knew anything about love or feelings or having a boyfriend but I knew how I felt at that age. I knew that something about Gary was… different. Not a bad kind of different but a different that made me automatically feel happy when he walked into a room and gave me a dazzling smile.

So when areas of our Pokemon trainer training became less than thrilling, my mind automatically went to those differences. Like how Gary's emerald eyes seemed so cool but warm and inviting or like how even though he was only a year or so older than me, he seemed so much more larger than life than I did. It also didn't help that Gary almost always insisted on sitting next to me during these lessons. Now, before you start to think I'm exaggerating, I have a story to prove it.

* * *

There was one day I think two weeks before the end of training, I had arrived early for our training session, which in and of itself, was really odd being that I was usually the last to arrive. But regardless, I arrived early and sat down to this other trainer. Her name was Hurricyine (her father was a meteorologist and studied hurricanes for a living), but she went by Hurri for short. I remember this because I clearly remember thinking how odd her name was and why her parents didn't name her something standard like Ann or Beth. Anyway, I had learned so much about her in the time between I arrived and the lesson changed. She wanted to train Pokemon because her older brother was a powerful trainer and she wanted to be like him, her favorite food was rice balls, and her mother had a pet Corpish named Pinchy.

Anyway, Gary had come in with his grandfather that morning, having helped him tend to the pokemon on the ranch that morning and fell behind schedule. I hadn't noticed he had come in at first, but there was this feeling… a tingling feeling on the back of my neck, which now looking back I realize was the feeling you get when someone is staring at you with every ounce of their being. I remember looking up and toward the industrial steel doors of the classroom and Gary was standing there… just staring at me while Professor Oak had walked to the front of the room to start the lesson. Gary was wearing this tight fitting kiddie black underarmor shirt which hugged his beefy (as beefy as you can get at that young an age) and blue jeans today (I had often cataloged what Gary wore most days). He had this look in his eye that I didn't recognize but it looked like he was ticked off and he was staring at me.

Ticked off Gary… staring at me… makes you think. And regret many life choices.

So of course, I immediately start wondering what the fuck I did wrong to piss him off. Usually, THAT look was reserved for when I did things to tick him off in epic proportions. Like that one time I had sneezed over his ice cream cone, after he had begged his grandfather for the money to get it from the ice cream truck. But the weirdest thing happened… he noticed me looking back and he gave me his standard 1000 Pika-Watt smile before walking up to me.

"Good morning Ashy" He had said to me. "Ashy" had become a term of endearment over the years and he was the only one I let call me that (and to be honest, he was the only one he let call me that). It had become a nickname of sorts between friends. Anyway, I said good morning back and he gave me another grin before turning to look at Hurri. She never knew that she had pretty much done the worst thing she could've done in her 10 year old lifespan. She continued chatting away about her mother's pet Corpish and how she hated it and how she wanted to specialize in Grass pokemon (that was another thing I learned about her… she planned on asking for the Bulbasaur that Professor Oak had). So, Gary had turned this look on Hurri… this deep, dark, look of pure loathing that could've stopped a stampeding Tyranitar. Hurri had noticed the look fast enough and she offered Gary a small smile.

"Hello Gary?" Hurri had asked. She clearly had this WTF tint to her voice, which to her credit was awfully brave of her.

"You're in MY seat" Gary had all but snarled, while having placed this steely smirk on his face, that offered dire consequences if she argued.

Now in my opinion, Hurri may not have been the brightest crayon in the box but she was also someone who initially not afraid to stand up to THE Gary Oak. I remember her next words clear as day:

"I don't see your name on it"

Now… you may be thinking that was a childish thing to say. But remember… we were kids at this point. The time of your life where "I don't see your name on it" and "I know you are but what am I" was expected and acceptable. Anyway, at this point, I was extremely nervous. Not many people had seen an angry, 11 year old Gary Oak. Probably not dangerous to an adult but to kids in our age group, it wasn't something one would want to be on the receiving end of.

You know… I kinda wonder if Gary truly was a bully of sorts.

But I remember Gary, walking over to Hurri with his trademark swagger. That swagger that reeked of the confidence and slight cockiness that said "I'm someone important". He had leaned down and whispered something in her ear… which to this day I still don't know what. But whatever he'd said caused Hurri's face to erupt into flames.

"S…sorry Gary" she had muttered before picking up her pink, Beautifly adorned journal and moving over to the other table. Gary had watched her leave and I did too. I must admit that I was slightly disappointed to see her move cause we were getting to know each other. But Gary had sat down, gave me this cheesy, Oak grin and I forgot about Hurri.

* * *

But that's essentially how training went… I sat next to Gary every single day, we joked, we laughed, we learned together. The intense feeling I had with Gary continued, even though I had no idea what to make of it. Now, I know that Gary is a big old teddy bear but he wouldn't want people to know that. We were destined to become Co-Pokemon Masters and rule the world. That didn't happen of course after we got into a fight over an old Pokeball down at the river, but that's a story for another chapter. But I suppose at 10 years old, I had feelings for Gary and I feel as though Gary had feelings for me. He was always really protective and would brook no argument when it came to any other kid being in close proximity to me.

A couple weeks later, we finished our training and it was the day that we were to receive our Pokemon. Gary was still mad at me over something, probably that stupid pokeball that I had forgotten about. I didn't want to believe that it was that old pokeball cause that'd be something stupid to be that mad over. Either way, I had woken up late cause I was having this pretty cool dream of which pokemon I was gonna pick and somehow ended up breaking my alarm clock in the middle of the night. But I had woken up, realized that I woke up late and hauled ass out of there… not caring that I was in my pyjamas cause I could NOT be the trainer that didn't get a pokemon.

5 trainers… only 3 pokemon. That math wouldn't have worked out, even if I had been on time. Remind me to ask Professor Oak about that.

When I got to Professor Oak's lab, it was too late, or so I thought. Hurri and the other trainers had left except Gary who was getting into this sleek, red convertible. His sister Daisy was going to drive him around the region and her friends, who many of you might have noticed were those ditzy cheerleaders, were cheering him on as he gave this cocky speech about how he was going to do Pallet proud. As I ran into sight, of course he had to say something about how I was a loser who was ill equipped to go on this journey. I didn't care though, cause I was gonna get my Pokemon, travel Kanto and prove him wrong.

I was angry. Truly and utterly angry. Mere weeks ago, we were planning to take the world by storm. We were best friends who were always going to be there for each other, no matter what, forever. But forever wasn't meant to be I suppose, because Gary had thrown it all away. I can't help but wonder what my role in that whole rivalry starting was, but it was mostly him. He threw away our friendship and I suppose a part of me still hurts from that. We traded a few more biting remarks about how we were going to beat the other. I can't remember too much more about that conversation, but I do remember this. As he drove away with his sister in the driver seat, his cheering cheerleaders, and his biting last remarks, I had experienced a brand new feeling that I had never felt before. It was this tightening in my chest that made me short of breath, extremely depressed, and left me feeling totally helpless. A feeling I can now identify as… heartbreak.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please take a moment to write a review! It certainly helps the motivation!


	3. Chapter 5: The Kanto League

**Memoirs of a Pokemon Master**

 **Chapter 5: The Kanto League**

Those of you who have ever even attempted Pokemon training, know how hard it is to get all 8 gym badges, let alone get to the Pokemon league. Being able to compete in the tournament is a feat attempted by many, accomplished by some, and successfully achieved by one. So I knew that being in the Indigo Plateau was an honor and accomplishment in and of itself. I also knew that I had to be humble, become a nimble strategist, and not rely on a lot of the luck that had gotten me through many other battles in the past. Despite what the writers at that 4Kids Entertainment company who created some cartoon based off me would have you believe, I was actually taking this extremely seriously. I can tell you about that, but that's a later chapter.

I had to admit that I was excited to be here, I mean who wouldn't? But I was also nervous. I knew that my skills would be put to the test and I wasn't sure if I'd measure up to the greats out there like Steve Perez, Izzy Takashi, and Peter Mower, just to name a few. There were many trainers here that you heard about in one way or another because of their great skill, power Pokemon and superior strategy. I can't say many people had heard of Ash Ketchum before this point.

As I approached the gates of Victory Road with Brock, Misty, and Pikachu, I knew the moment of no return was approaching. Of course, I knew I could turn around, go home and go through traditional schooling, then University, then grow up to be a great Pokemon Lawyer, like my grandmother Lily Hikari (mother's side) had wished for me, but there is one thing that people have to get right about me: Ash Ketchum may be a lot of things, but if it's one thing he's not, it's a quitter.

* * *

Victory Road is a nerve wrecking experience. Now, before I go too much into the main point of this story, I will also dispel a myth about Victory Road. It's not some super powerful Pokémon containing rock cave that weeds trainers out, like the games would have you believe. But it's still a humbling experience nonetheless. Only one trainer is allowed to walk through Victory Road at a time, as it is meant to be ceremonial type deal where these well-dressed guards salute you as you walk down the road. It's supposed to make you feel that you've accomplished something major, even if you walk back down it a loser.

Think of it as a parting gift before the departing (you know… in case you suck and lose).

Now, I'd be lying if I said I walked down that long road, flanked by these honor guards with my chest out, head held high, and a swagger in my step. I was nervous, I was proud, and I was emotional. This is the culmination of about a year's worth of hard work, sweat, and tears that I shed along with my Pokémon family. I know I had tears in my eyes but I refused offers of tissues and hugs from Brock and Misty and kept marching down that road. I owed it to my Pokémon and myself to meet whatever was at the end of this road.

I just didn't expect there to be the purple shirt wearing, spikey haired, smug looking, asshat that broke my heart numerous times

Shit on a shingle

"Why if it isn't Ashy-Boy" None other than Gary smirked with that hair raising nasally voice of his. You know, as I sit here recollecting this, I didn't realize exactly how fucking nasally Gary's Pre-pubescent voice was. Really fucking nasally. Think about Fran Drescher during allergy season.

"Gary. What are you doing here?"

"I checked into the tournament already and so I decided to come and wait for my favorite loser from Pallet."

"Seems like a waste of time on your end." Seriously though, who waits for who knows how long just to taunt someone? Someone with no life, that's who!

"I'm surprised you and your loser squad even made it this far. The Pokemon league is meant for REAL trainers." Gary smirked while laughing in that nasally voice. In the corner of my eye, I notice Brock holding his arm out in front of Misty. Quite a shame really. She could've knocked whatever is lose in his vocal cords back into place.

Sorry if I'm too caught up on the voice thing... it's just that, well... if you've heard it, then you know.

"Gary… you saw me in Viridian. You were there when I got the badge. Fuck you on so many levels. Let's go guys"

"Pika PIKA!" Pikachu agreed from my left shoulder.

I wasn't going to let Gary ruin this moment. I had worked too hard for this, and while traditionally I usually let Gary rile me up, this wasn't the moment for it. This was a place of dignity and decorum.

So naturally a flip him off and go about my merry way.

"Ah ah…" Gary crooned, stepping in my path. "Is that any way to speak to your superiors?"

"THE ONLY THING YOU'RE SUPERIOR IN IS BEING A GRADE A JERK!" Misty has shouted before I had the chance to respond.

"Aw Misty… are you sure about that? Being that I've beaten little itty-bitty Ashy Boy here in every battle we've fought, I'd naturally assume I was at least superior than him." Gary laughed.

That was this was about…. I knew it. Gary was attempting to break me down more and more before the tournament, and the sad part is…. It was starting to work. I knew I was getting frustrated and even emotional again. I was going to lose it and I wasn't sure in which way.

So I had done something I had never done before. I agreed. After all, the ship can't move if you take the wind out of it's sails.

"Yes Gary. You're superior than me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do" and I walked away.

* * *

Now…. I know what you're thinking:

"Oh no he didn't!"

"How could Ash agree?!"

"Gary is a prick!"

"Oooo Plot twist"

"This isn't like the Ash we know!"

But like I said people, I'm not as hotheaded and dumb as people think I am. I'm a strategist, which is not what people see when they spot Ash Ketchum. Gary and others like him respond to responses and I know this. No response, no reaction.

Plus, I was setting myself up to complete rub his face in it when I beat his ass in this tournament.

But there was something thing else there and I knew it. I was losing the fight in me, as far as Gary was concerned. I hated fighting with him, no matter how much he hurt me. I hated him and everything he's become and done to me, but I hated fighting him even more.

* * *

Ok, so I'm going to fast forward through all of the tournament stuff. We all know what happened… I made top 16, I lost to my new friend Ritchie because my asshole Charizard refused to listen. I could write an entire chapter on my thoughts and feelings about my Charizard, but I suppose that's water under the bridge. While I still hold a little grudge with Charizard, even 15 years later, I've pretty much forgiven him.

Misty, Brock, Professor Oak and my Mom had all taken their turns at trying to cheer me up after that loss but that kind of loss was going to haunt me for a while. What should have been an easy match to win, was a waste because I couldn't get through to my Pokémon. That kind of lost felt extremely personal. I'd understand it if somehow, I was bested in a true battle with Charizard when Ritchie had only his Pikachu left, somehow that would feel a hell of a lot better. But I lost because of a Pokemon refusing to battle. There is nothing more embarrassing than that.

I won't lie to you…. In that moment, I kinda wished I had left that damn Charmander out there on that rock.

Only in that moment.

Ok… maybe there were a handful of other times but that isn't important.

Anyway, after a while, my closest friends began to give up on "Operation Cheer Ash Up" and decided to leave me alone. I can't say that I blame them, being that I didn't give them much choice. I had all but disappeared from the public face, from presence of my friends. All except Pikachu, who had decided to stick closer to me than a Magnemite to a refrigerator. (I wonder when I became so witty... Magnemite to a refrigerator. I gotta use that again sometime...)

* * *

One of the few times I had a moment of sweet, sweet aloneness, was the night before the closing ceremonies. I had grown tired of my mother's consistent "Ash Honey, are you ok?" and every other expression of concern, so I decided to get up and go for a walk.

The Pokemon League village was equal parts impressive and quaint with all the shops, restaurants and other touristy kind of places one would expect to find in a place like this. The one benefit I could see with having been eliminated from the tournament was that I now could walk around the village freely, without having to worry about training, strategy, and who my next opponent was going to be. I could go back to being the unknown, that I was seemingly destined to be.

And before you say "Ash, stop being so down on yourself" all I gotta say is fuck you, I'll be as down on myself as I want, and I'm sorry for cursing at you.

Anyway...

I soon found myself in a small coffee shop close to the stadium called the Frenzy Plant, known for organic coffee treats, guaranteed to give you a much needed coffee boost (you're welcome Frenzy Plant… I expect endorsement royalties).

"Evening Hun, just one this evening?" A stout but pleasant looking waitress sauntered up to me as I walked in the door. The coffee shop, decked out in floral plant patterns and pictures of all kinds of grass Pokémon, wasn't meant to be a mainstream kind of place like Starbucks, but a place where you went to think, reflect, or even have a quiet conversation. It was small and quaint with this really welcoming aura.

"Um… yes mam"

"Right this way" She beamed at me as she guided me to a table in a back corner. _'Is that where they put the losers? In the back corner as to not be seen?'_ I recalled thinking at the moment. But the more I think about it in retrospect, I doubt my mood made room for attention of others, so a nice discreet corner was probably best.

I had ordered a Moltres Sunrise coffee and a blueberry muffin for starters. Not many people know this, but I've been a coffee addict since the age of 6 years old… which might have something to do with my short attention span at times, but I digress.

I chose to think, which as I mentioned earlier, was one of the few activities one would do in a mom-and-pop shop like this. This was a time for me to truly think about my next course of action. To think about whether Pokémon training was for me or not.

Granted, it was only my first Pokémon league tournament and it's extremely rare for someone to win it on their first shot, especially with the year of experience I've had. I had a standing team of 5 Pokemon; Charizard, Bulbasaur, Pidgeotto, Squirtle, and my best buddy Pikachu, plus a Muk who smothered me with love, one of like a billion Tauros (who the hell let me catch so many of those? Maybe like 2 would've sufficed), and a Kingler who evolved magnificently and out of all those Pokémon, Charizard was an exception rather than the norm, in regards to discipline and training. And I remember Professor Oak talking about the psychology of Pokemon training in that sometimes a self-defeating tape plays in the back of our minds: - _'Am I worthy?' 'Am I good enough?' 'Am I training Pokémon correctly?'_

Those messages played in my mind consistently. Add that to the fact that about half my badges were awarded due to some unique circumstance, and my former closest friend constantly calling me a loser, maybe I wasn't fit for it after all.

My mind was running faster than a Rapidash and I know I must have been in deep concentration for a while because I hardly noticed that the waitress, Ethel I believe, brought my coffee and muffin and placed it down in front of me. Nor did I catch probably the most unwelcome person ever in life, sitting down across from me.

"Deep in thought Ashy-boy? A first, I'm sure" None other than fucking Gary Oak smirked at me, as he sat down, finally breaking my concentration.

"Oh ha ha, Gary" Gary simply smirked at me… then took my muffin. That ass. "I thought you were gone anyway."

"Nah, I figured I'd stick around for a little bit, Gramps and your mom are still here and whatnot" Gary said, eating my muffin. I took hold of my still hot coffee and took a tentative sip. Hmmm… that was some good coffee.

"Ah… I see"

Gary looked at me at that moment, and for the first time in a year, I didn't see the arrogant son-of-a-bitch who made my life a living hell this last year, I saw my childhood friend, the one I had grown dependent on. "What's on your mind Ashy?"

"Why would I tell you what's on my mind? You'd only ridicule me even more than you do now"

"Ridicule? Your vocabulary is improving. I'm impressed"

"Fuck you, Oak" I muttered, folding my arms which admittedly, made me seem like the child I kinda still was.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? I'm sure Delia wouldn't care to know that her 11-year-old son is using such language." Gary chuckled, reaching over to grab my coffee out of my hands to take a sip.

That was it. He invites himself to sit at my table, eats my muffin and takes my coffee? All on top of insulting me still. Fuck this shit eating bastard.

"You know what Gary? I not going to sit here and deal with this, right now. I'm leaving" I snarled, snatching my coffee from his hands and standing to leave.

As I stood with my coffee, Gary quickly reached out to grab my wrist, keeping me from going anywhere. Now, I wouldn't have admitted this to him at the time but I felt a spark of electricity at his touch. His hands were smooth and silky as if he never trained a day in his life. As I looked down into his cerulean blue eyes, I saw something in that moment that I hadn't seen before. I didn't know what it was but I knew it was something different. Different and powerful.

"Sit down Ashy. I know what you're going through and well… I figure misery loves company." Gary had said earnestly. The tone of his voice made me stop pulling against him.

"You know what I'm going through? That's a laugh" I had said at the time, sitting back down.

"I do. You're thinking ' _I just lost the Pokemon league, I'm not a competent trainer, I suck, blah blah blah'_ and knowing you, you're probably thinking about Charizard and what went wrong there. I just lost too, and might I add before you." Gary said matter of factly.

"Would you care for anything Hun?" Before I was forced to respond, Ethel appeared out of no where and I was grateful for the distraction. I had no idea that Gary was that insightful into my mind. He and I used to share a connection when we were younger. Not many people believe that kids are capable of deep connections and making meaning of it, but regardless of whether we knew it was a connection or not, Gary knew me almost as much as my mom and I knew him just as well.

At least, I thought I did.

"Yes… I would like whatever he's having and another blueberry muffin" Gary smiled at the waitress. "And you're not that hard to read Ashy."

"Huh?" _Had I said that out loud?_

"And no you didn't say it out loud. Just because we're rivals, doesn't mean I still don't know how you think and feel."

Now, those of you who know me, know I was probably wondering where the fuck was the arrogant, smug Gary Oak I've come to know over the last year. I'll admit, I missed having someone understand me on a deeper level. On a level other than what they see outwardly. I don't think Misty or Brock see me on that level. I know my mom knows me so deeply, she probably knows every single atom in my body and soul and has probably named them all. Pikachu definitely knows me on a deeper level, but he doesn't quite count for the purpose of this context.

"Look Ashy…" Gary continued. _Oops, must have zoned out._ "It's tough out there in the world of Pokemon training and in the world in general. And you may be in many league tournaments and not place but you gotta hang in there."

"Since when have you started talking like an after-school special?"

"Shut up. You're my rival Ash Ketchum and don't get used to me being this nice to you, so I would just take this moment and cherish it. Just know…. That you have to keep going. I hate to say this…." Gary paused before taking a huge deep breath. "But if for some reason, I don't become the Pokemon Master, I'd rather see you do it. No need for some rich twit from like Goldenrod City or something getting the title."

"Here you go Hun" Ethel said, coming back with Gary's coffee and muffin.

"Thank you mam" Gary said, giving her one of his prize-winning smiles before standing up and turning to me, sitting his newly purchased muffin in front of me. "Remember what I said, Ashy-Boy. Don't give up. Smell ya' later."

With his trademark two finger salute, Gary sauntered out of the coffee shop, leaving me with numerous conflicting feelings. I should hate Gary right now, but I was oddly touched by his unexpected but motivational sentiments. Despite the animosity between us, Gary basically just told me he cared about and believed in me. You'd have to be inhuman to not let that tug at least 1 of your heartstrings.

Finishing my muffin and coffee, I get up and walk to the cashier's stand so I can pay for my coffee and muffin. I realized it's almost 10pm in this point and I know I have much to think about still, including what to do now. "How much do I owe you?" I asked Ethel, trying to give her a smile comparable to Gary's but probably failing.

"Nothing Hun. That sweet boy you were with picked up your coffee as well."

"Huh?"

"Sweet boy, he is. Said you were a little down in the dumps, so it was the least he could do." Ethel smiled at me as she went to greet another customer who had just come in.

I couldn't believe it. Maybe losing ahead of me humbled Gary a little bit. Maybe there was a slim chance that one day, just maybe one day, Gary and I would be friends again. I couldn't muster the courage to fully grasp on to that shred of hope, but it was there for the time being. As I looked out of the glass door and down the street as Gary walked off into the distance while sipping on his coffee, the confusing and conflicting feelings only strengthened. But one feeling was currently winning the all-out battle in my mind: Gratitude.

* * *

 **Sorry for taking a bit. Inspiration comes in bits and pieces lol. Please review!**


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